Here’s the thing: wedding planning is already a huge puzzle, and yet save the date cards have somehow slipped in as standard practice. Weddings are soaked in tradition, but sometimes it’s hard to say if we’re following advice or just doing what everyone else does. Are these cards truly a must-have or just another Pinterest-driven add-on? Let’s untangle this—with facts, stories, and a dash of Irish practicality.
The Origins and Evolution of Save the Dates
Save the date cards haven’t actually been around forever. Back in your grandparents’ day, wedding invitations did all the heavy lifting. The concept of a separate card to alert guests months ahead of time really took off in the early 2000s. Before that, families sometimes spread the word with phone calls or handwritten notes, especially if people had to travel long distances.
It was in the US that save the date cards became a full-blown tradition. Companies selling custom stationery were looking for new products to offer, and suddenly engaged couples had inspiration boards full of matching sets—save the date, invitation, RSVP, and thank you notes. In the UK and Ireland, the trend picked up later, but it’s become more common, especially among millennials and Gen Z couples who have friends scattered across continents.
Why the change? Partly because our social circles have stretched so far. It’s not just about nagging Aunt Joan in Tipperary anymore; it’s about letting friends in Toronto or Melbourne know to block their calendars. Flights need booking, passports need checking, dogs need sitters. Life’s just a touch more complicated. The digital world didn’t stop the practice; if anything, it fuelled it, with email versions and even WhatsApp save the date GIFs turning up in inboxes and family groups.
It’s easy to see why these cards feel important, but interestingly, they’re still not an official ‘must’ according to etiquette experts like Debrett’s, who see them as entirely optional, depending on the couple’s needs and guest list logistics.
Do You Really Need Save the Date Cards? Looking at the Pros and Cons
Here’s where the debate gets fiery. For every couple swearing by their save the dates, there’s another who skipped them and lived to tell the tale. So, what are the actual reasons people choose or ditch them?
First up, travel and timing. If your guest list includes international guests, people who work in shift-based jobs (like healthcare or hospitality), or those with busy family schedules, that heads-up can make or break their attendance. Telling people six to twelve months in advance is considerate—especially for a summer wedding during peak travel season when flights and hotels get snapped up. No one wants the awkward conversation with a cousin who booked a holiday the same week because they didn’t know the date in time.
But then again, not every wedding needs this. If most guests are local, or if you’re planning a smaller, more spontaneous gathering, formal save the dates may just add clutter. I chatted with Laura, a Dublin bride who married last autumn. She skipped save the dates entirely. She sent her invites early and used a group chat for reminders. Not a single person missed the memo.
Let’s talk money for a minute. According to a 2024 survey by WeddingWire, the average couple in Ireland spends about €200-€300 on save the date cards, depending on printing choices. If you want custom illustrations, foil accents, or fancy paper, the price jumps fast. Now, consider this in the context of the steadily climbing average Irish wedding spend—over €30,000 in 2024, with costs from invites, venues, even kids’ activity packs. For couples watching their budget, ditching non-essential paper goods is one of the first money-saving moves.
There’s also the eco angle. Going green with digital save the dates is easier than ever. Sites like Paperless Post and Greenvelope offer gorgeous online options with customizable designs. Not only do you save trees, but you skip international postage fees that have risen significantly this year, especially for cards sent outside the EU. Surprisingly, about 43% of Irish couples sent digital save the dates in 2024 according to a recent BASH Magazine poll, and that number keeps growing as couples weigh tradition against convenience and sustainability.
Of course, there’s that charming feeling of getting something pretty in the post. Physical cards can end up on family fridges or in memory boxes, sparking real excitement. But more and more people admit these keepsakes end up as clutter. As Aoife, a Cork-based stationery designer told me, couples are now split: about half want the ‘real thing,’ the others are delighted to send a WhatsApp link and call it a day.
Check out this quick comparison to help weigh your options:
| Pros of Save the Date Cards | Cons of Save the Date Cards |
|---|---|
| Give guests more time to plan | Additional cost |
| Help international attendees make travel arrangements | Added environmental impact if printing |
| Add a special touch, excitement for guests | May be redundant for local guests |
| Set the tone/theme of the wedding early | One more thing to organize |
There’s no single answer. For some, save the dates are crucial, for others, they’re just another thing on an endless to-do list.
Smart Tips and Alternatives: How to Decide (and What to Do Instead)
If you’re on the fence, the first thing is to look at your own wedding details—especially your guest list and timeline. Is your wedding during a holiday, in a destination spot, or miles from where most people live? The farther or trickier the date, the more helpful a heads-up is. On the other hand, if you’re sending invitations super early—say, six months or more in advance—save the dates might not add much.
Let’s break it down even more:
- If your guest list is packed with out-of-towners or if travel deals are crucial, send save the dates 8-12 months ahead. Peak wedding months in Ireland are June, July, and September, which fill up with events fast.
- For local-focused weddings, or if most guests are immediate family, skip the cards. Use those funds for something memorable, like a premium on the dinner wine or live acoustic music for your ceremony.
- If you love design and want keepsakes, go for print. Ireland has talented local stationery makers—Aislinn Events and Appleberry Press offer customizable, eco-friendly options. If you want to support local without printing, many of them offer digital templates too.
- Digital save the dates work especially well for friends who live on their phones. Just make sure the message contains all the key info—date, location/city, and a note that a formal invite will follow. Adding an RSVP or wedding website link helps everyone keep organised.
- If you’re worried about etiquette, relax: the traditional Irish approach still says save the dates are optional, not required. The key is giving people enough notice, whether you do that by card, email, or a phone call.
Want to keep things super simple? Here are some outside-the-box alternatives:
- Start a wedding WhatsApp group (just don’t add work colleagues!).
- Send personalised voice memos—lovely for grandparents or those who aren’t online much.
- Include a creative calendar invite by email—sounds techy, but it’s easy and keeps your date on everyone’s radar.
- Put a short, playful video together and send it out—your guests will love seeing your personalities.
One last thing: if you do go for traditional save the dates, make them useful. Include nearby hotels, the local airport, or a link to your wedding website. Some couples even add a QR code scanning straight to their wedding info. That way, your card is more than a ‘pretty thing’—it becomes a tool to make travel and life easier for everyone.
Remember, weddings should reflect who you are. If sending save the date cards fits your style and helps guests, do it. If not, ditch the pressure. At its heart, this is about sharing joy—however you choose to spread the word.