Who Buys the Wedding Rings When Getting Married?

For decades, the default answer was simple: the groom buys the engagement ring, and both partners chip in for the wedding bands. But today? That rule doesn’t fit most couples. Wedding rings are no longer a one-sided purchase - they’re a shared decision, shaped by money, values, and personal style.

It’s Not 1950 Anymore

Old-school tradition says the man should surprise his partner with an engagement ring, often bought on bended knee. He’s expected to spend two or three months’ salary, pick the perfect diamond, and handle every detail. The wedding bands? He buys those too, usually as a pair. But here’s the truth: most couples today don’t follow that script. A 2024 survey by The Knot found that 62% of engaged couples in the U.S. discussed ring purchases together before buying. That’s up from 38% just ten years ago.

Why the shift? Money. Expectations. And plain old honesty. Engagement rings cost an average of $5,800 in 2025. That’s more than most people make in a month. Many grooms can’t - or won’t - carry that burden alone. And many brides don’t want to feel like a trophy being bought.

Who Actually Buys the Engagement Ring?

There are three common scenarios now:

1. The groom buys it alone - still common, especially in more traditional families. He picks the style, hides it, and proposes with it. But he’s often consulting his partner’s friends or even her sister to get the ring right.
2. The couple buys it together - this is growing fast. They go ring shopping like they’re picking out a couch. One person might say, “I love this setting,” and the other says, “But can we afford it?” They compare metals, diamonds, and budgets side by side. No surprises. No stress later.
3. The bride picks it out and the groom pays - not as rare as you think. Some women know exactly what they want. Instead of guessing, they take their partner to a jeweler, point to a ring, and say, “This one.” The groom says yes - and pays. It’s practical. It’s fair.

There’s no right answer. What matters is that both people feel good about it. If the ring feels like a gift from the heart - not a financial obligation - that’s what counts.

Wedding Bands Are Different

While engagement rings are often seen as a single gift, wedding bands are a mutual exchange. Traditionally, the groom buys the bride’s band, and she buys his. But that’s changing too.

Today, couples often:

• Buy each other’s bands together, splitting the cost evenly
• Use a shared ring fund - money saved over months for both rings
• Have one person buy both bands as a surprise
• Get them as wedding gifts from family members

Some couples even choose matching bands. Others go for totally different styles - one gold, one platinum, one with a gem, one plain. It’s not about tradition anymore. It’s about what feels like them.

What About Family Involvement?

Parents still sometimes chip in - especially for the engagement ring. In some cultures, the groom’s family pays for everything. In others, the bride’s family helps with the wedding and the rings are a separate matter.

But here’s what’s new: families are asking before they pay. Instead of assuming they’ll cover the cost, they say, “We’d love to help with the rings. What’s your budget?” That changes the dynamic. It turns a potential source of pressure into a conversation.

Some couples say no to family money altogether. They want the rings to be theirs - no strings attached. Others are grateful for the help and use it to upgrade their bands or add a personal engraving.

What If You’re Not Traditional?

Same-sex couples? Non-binary couples? Couples who don’t believe in engagement rings? None of these fit the old model - and that’s okay.

Many LGBTQ+ couples buy rings together, or each person buys their own. Some choose to wear no rings at all. Others pick symbolic jewelry - a bracelet, a necklace, a shared tattoo. There’s no rulebook anymore. The only requirement? It means something to both of you.

One couple in Dublin, married last year, bought matching titanium bands from a local artisan. They each paid half. No proposal. No surprise. Just a quiet afternoon at the studio, choosing the finish they both loved. “It felt like we were building something together,” the bride said. “Not buying something from someone else.”

Money Talk Is Part of the Process

Buying rings isn’t just about style - it’s about finances. And talking about money before you say “I do” is one of the smartest things you can do.

Ask yourselves:

• How much can we realistically spend without going into debt?
• Do we want to save for a house instead?
• Is the ring a symbol - or a status symbol?
• Will we regret spending too much later?

There’s no shame in choosing a $500 ring over a $5,000 one. What matters is that you’re both on the same page. A ring doesn’t prove love. It just holds it.

Modern Alternatives to the Classic Ring

Not everyone wants a diamond. Not everyone wants metal. And that’s fine.

More couples are choosing:

• Moissanite or lab-grown diamonds - same look, 70% cheaper
• Wood or ceramic bands - lightweight, unique, eco-friendly
• Custom engraved bands with initials or dates inside
• Two different rings that complement each other, not match
• Wearing the ring on a chain instead of a finger

One couple from Belfast swapped rings for matching pocket watches. They each carry one. “It’s not about showing off,” the groom said. “It’s about knowing we’re both carrying a piece of each other, every day.”

Final Thought: It’s Your Story

Who buys the rings? The answer isn’t written in any book. It’s written in your relationship. Maybe it’s him. Maybe it’s her. Maybe it’s both of you, together, with your savings and your values guiding the choice.

Don’t let tradition dictate your ring story. Talk. Listen. Decide. And choose what feels true - not what’s expected.