Who Traditionally Pays for What in a Wedding? Modern Rules for 2025

Weddings used to follow a strict playbook: the bride’s family paid for everything, the groom’s family covered the honeymoon, and the couple just showed up in tuxedos and dresses. But that playbook? It’s outdated. Today, more than 70% of couples in the U.S. and Ireland pay for their own weddings, according to The Knot’s 2024 Real Weddings Study. Even in places where tradition runs deep, families are stepping back - not out of lack of love, but because costs have exploded.

What Used to Be the Rule

Back in the 1950s, wedding costs were simpler. A typical wedding in the U.S. cost around $2,000 - about $22,000 today when adjusted for inflation. The bride’s family covered the venue, catering, flowers, and the bride’s dress. The groom’s family paid for the rehearsal dinner, the officiant’s fee, and sometimes the marriage license. The couple chipped in for the honeymoon and maybe the rings.

In Ireland, the pattern was similar. The bride’s parents handled the reception and the church fees. The groom’s side paid for the wine and the music. The couple didn’t need to save much - jobs were stable, housing was affordable, and weddings were community events, not luxury productions.

What Costs Have Skyrocketed

Fast forward to 2025, and the average wedding in Ireland costs €28,000. In Dublin, it’s closer to €35,000. The biggest drivers? Venue rentals, catering, and photography. A mid-range venue in County Wicklow can run €8,000 alone. A four-hour photographer? €2,500. A four-course meal for 100 guests? €15,000 minimum.

These aren’t optional extras anymore. Couples feel pressured to match Instagram-worthy weddings, even if they’re paying off student loans. That’s why so many are ditching tradition - not out of disrespect, but out of necessity.

Who Pays for What Now? The New Breakdown

There’s no single rule anymore. But here’s what most couples in Ireland and the U.K. are doing in 2025:

• Venue and catering: Usually split between both families or paid entirely by the couple. If one family offers to pay, it’s often tied to a guest list limit - like covering the reception for 60 people, not 120.
• Wedding dress and groom’s suit: Almost always paid by the couple. Bridal dresses average €1,500-€3,000. Groom’s suits? Around €300-€800. Most couples buy these themselves, even if parents offer.
• Photography and videography: The couple. This is now seen as a personal keepsake, not a family gift. Many couples save for years just for this.
• Flowers and decor: Often covered by the couple, but sometimes a parent will pay for the bridal bouquet or centerpieces as a symbolic gift.
• Rehearsal dinner: Traditionally the groom’s family. Now, it’s often paid by the couple or shared. Some families skip it entirely.
• Honeymoon: Almost always the couple. But if grandparents or parents want to help, they’ll often give cash as a gift - not book the trip themselves.
• Marriage license and officiant: The couple. These are legal fees, not gifts.
• Wedding rings: Traditionally the groom’s family. Now, it’s almost always the couple buying them together - or splitting the cost.
• Wedding planner: The couple. This used to be a luxury. Now, it’s a necessity for busy professionals who don’t have time to coordinate 20 vendors.

When Families Still Step In

Just because tradition has changed doesn’t mean family contributions have disappeared. Many parents still want to help - but they’re doing it differently.

One couple in Cork had their mother pay for the wedding cake and their father cover the music. Another couple in Galway received €10,000 from each set of grandparents as a gift - no strings attached. They used it to pay off their venue deposit.

The key? Open conversation. If a parent says, “I’d love to pay for the flowers,” ask: “What part of the wedding matters most to you?” That way, the gift feels meaningful, not like a transaction.

What to Say When Money Gets Awkward

Money talks can be tense. Here’s how to handle them without causing friction:

1. Start with gratitude. “We’re so thankful you want to help.”
2. Be clear about your budget. “We’re aiming for €25,000 total.”
3. Offer choices. “Would you prefer to cover the drinks, or help with the guest accommodations?”
4. Set boundaries gently. “We’d love your input, but we’ve already booked the venue.”
5. Accept cash gifts without guilt. If someone gives you €5,000, use it. You’re not being ungrateful - you’re being practical.

Don’t let guilt or pressure make you overspend. A wedding doesn’t have to be perfect to be meaningful. It just has to be yours.

What to Do If You’re Paying for Everything

If you’re footing the whole bill, you’re not alone. In fact, 68% of couples in Ireland now pay for their own weddings. That doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. It means you’re being realistic.

Here’s how to manage it:

• Set a hard cap. Don’t let Pinterest or social media dictate your budget. Stick to what you can afford.
• Trim the guest list. Every extra guest adds €150-€200. Cut 20 people? You save €3,000-€4,000.
• Choose off-peak dates. A Saturday in November costs 40% less than a Saturday in June.
• Use local vendors. A Dublin florist is cheaper than a branded one from London.
• Ask for help. Many vendors offer payment plans. Ask.

Remember: your marriage doesn’t start with a perfect table setting. It starts with two people who choose each other - no matter how they paid for the cake.

What About Same-Sex Couples or Non-Traditional Families?

Traditional roles don’t apply here - and that’s the point. If you’re a same-sex couple, a blended family, or a couple raising kids together, the old rules were never meant for you.

Some couples split costs evenly. Others have one partner’s parents cover the venue, while the other’s parents pay for the honeymoon. Some couples fund everything themselves and give gifts to their families instead.

The only rule? Communicate. Ask your families what they’d like to contribute - and be honest about what you need.

There’s no shame in saying, “We’d love your support, but we’ve got this covered.” And there’s no shame in saying, “We need help.”

Final Thought: It’s Not About Who Pays - It’s About What Matters

At the end of the day, no one remembers whether the flowers came from your aunt’s garden or a florist in Kilkenny. They remember how you laughed during your vows. They remember how your grandma cried when you danced with her. They remember the warmth of the room - not the price tag on the table linens.

So don’t stress over who’s supposed to pay. Figure out what you can afford. Talk openly with your partner and your families. Make choices that reflect your values, not outdated expectations.

Your wedding doesn’t need to be the most expensive. It just needs to be true.